Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize