That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
