You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
