I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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