I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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