He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
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