i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
