Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
