Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
soo... how was my night?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
