I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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