I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
