please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize