I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
