my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
