Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
