I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
