Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
