My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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