Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
worst night to have a conscience
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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