How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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