erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
