we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
