she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
