I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
