i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
