My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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