Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
