I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
