thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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