I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
