I can't watch pbs sober anymore
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
