Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
