The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
