google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So many bounce houses so little time
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
