Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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