it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize