you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
