I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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