Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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