I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
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He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
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Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.