Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
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During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
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She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals