Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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