If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck