roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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