is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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