I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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