Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
