Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Drake has all the answers
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
