Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
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I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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