Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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