Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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