I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize