this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
