Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
