My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Randomize