This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
