I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
