3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Betty ford says i'm here all night
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize