just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
