I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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