This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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