carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just forgot I was standing up.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
